Held every third Saturday in May at Maryland’s Pimlico Race Course, this is sure to be the best party of your year (unless you try something else on my Places To Go list the same year). Make sure you bring plenty of beer even if you aren’t twenty-one, because when I went security wasn’t checking IDs. They were, however, checking through the coolers for weapons and other such things, so make sure you leave those at home.
Walking to the infield there is a long tunnel you must go through. Be sure to yell some very profane, inappropriate, highly offensive words in the tunnel; everyone does it. Once you are standing on the infield take a look at your watch in order to remember what time you started drinking for bragging rights later. “Yeah, I mean, it’s really not that big of a deal, it was already 9 a.m. when I started drinking, plus it was only a few shots of tequila.”
Don’t feel bad if you forget that there are actually horses at this party, everyone does. Although occasionally you will hear cheers when they run by on the outer ring that has had you wondering what it’s point is. Also, if you are in a fraternity be sure to wear letters or some kind of clothing that represents your organization. I wore my Theta Chi jersey and met about thirty other brothers who I hung out with for the rest of the race.
- What to Bring:
- Clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty
- Some kind of seat (can be the cooler)
- Cooler
- BEER
- Parking Passes
- A trained bladder
- Optional:
- Liquor (not allowed so sneak it in)
- Camera (you will see breasts)
- Blow-up Pool
- Caution Tape
If you get there early enough you will be able to grab a space, set up a squared off section of caution tape, and maybe a blow-up pool filled with ice and beer in the center. Or, on second thought, fill it with KY and let the girls wrestle it out. Trust me, they’ll do it.
Buy tickets for this year’s Preakness on May 16, 2009.
