So there was this big college party, about three blocks from my dorm, the largest dorm on campus. It was at one of the local fraternity houses and I was a Freshman trying to experience everything in this crazy new college, party life. My friend Dan had heard about this party so I tagged along, just us two walking to the Delta Sig (not really the name, but I will use this throughout the story to cover up their actual name) party house.
Once we arrived we saw that the party was in the basement, and so began to descend the wooden, outdoor steps which were connected to the wrap-around porch. We were met by one of the brothers marking X’s on hands with a black Sharpie. We received our X’s and continued through the door.
Once inside we headed directly for the bar where, after a relatively short wait, I was handed a can of Bud Light. I trekked across the basement to the dance floor where I started to scout for the hottest girls. as I was walking across the dance floor I passed a random guy dancing with a girl while holding himself up by a pipe in the ceiling rafters. As soon as I was under the pipe, it decided it couldn’t hold his wait any longer. The pipe broke and a murky, brown liquid was splashed on my right shoulder and ran down my arm and the side of my shirt.
My first assumption was, ‘Fuck, I just got splashed by the garbage disposal pipe. And then the smell hit. “IS THIS SHIT?!” Yes. Yes, it was shit ladies and gentleman. I was shit on by a pipe at a fraternity house. The smell of the flowing waste was so rank it cleared the basement in ten seconds flat. Cops can’t break up parties that fast.
So I bet your wondering what I did. Well, I did what every party goer in college would do. I took off my shirt, Dan and I sprinted back to my dorm where I changed and washed up in about three minutes flat, and we ran back out the door, leaving my roommate to continue his laughter as we sprinted back to hit the next party.
